St. Remedius Medical College: "Introducing the Zwinge Foundation"
Making Sure That Your "Certified" Psychic or Thaumaturge Really Is
(Who was St. Remedius? And why is a medical college named after him?)
So that fortune-teller or psychic says they’re “certified,” or at least the company sending your tarot card request to them says they are. But how do you KNOW they’re certified? Who certified them? Are they registered in their state, province, prefecture, county, or country as a verified practitioner of the exonormal arts? Do they have any authoritative body that vouches for their skills, their specialties, and their power levels that can rescind that verification at the first sign of abuse? Or are you handing your money and your time to an unverified flake who pretends to have powers? If you wouldn’t hand your innermost feelings to a psychiatrist who wasn’t licensed and expected to behave in an ethical manner, particularly with patient-therapist confidentiality, why would you trust those feelings and secrets someone whose sole authority comes from the rock shop from where they purchased their crystals? And that couldn’t even do anything with those crystals that can’t be duplicated under double-blind laboratory conditions?
This is where the Zwinge Foundation comes in. Throughout the world, governments, corporations, charities, and private individuals depend upon the Zwinge Foundation’s extensive screening to make sure their psionicists, astrologers, thaumaturges, necromancers, and telekinetics are who they say or think they are. The Foundation itself hires some of the best of the best for up to four-year assignments to review and rate incoming candidates, including free screenings at schools, specifically to guarantee that those offering their services to society have both the abilities and ethics to fulfill their responsibilities. Most of the world’s greatest metaphysical colleges, including the famed St. Remedius Medical College, participate in the annual Evaluation Burst, with cash prizes to outstanding new talents, and in return contribute analysts for regular audits to ensure that Zwinge Foundation accreditation remains unimpeachable and impeccable.
The advantages of Zwinge Foundation accreditation:
Exonormal specialists earn the right to list accreditation on resumes and licenses (most state and federal specialists require certification for employment), as well as promotional material
Employers both private and federal can verify abilities within seconds through the Foundation database
Annual and four-year evaluations for city, state, country, and organization verification
Foundation-approved workshops and continuing education, with discounts on textbooks, supplemental study resources, and focus components
Insurance for familiars/catalyst creatures
Halloween/Samhain/Diwali/Sentinel Day celebration mixer, in a different city each year
Most importantly, the Zwinge Foundation’s annual MacDougal Grants offer cash prizes of up to $750,000US to accredited members showing outstanding mastery of their abilities and knowledge, particularly in unorthodox circumstances. Scrying windows on the surface of Pluto, astrological mapping of extrasolar planets, geomantic dowsing of rare-earth element deposits, druidic integrated pest management, micro-telekinetic brain surgery…MacDougal Grants may be used for further research, paying down debt, ongoing studies, or any other use, no catches.
In a world where just about anyone can claim to have special abilities, and many do, the Zwinge Foundation offers extensive, thorough, and incorruptible verification of those claimed abilities, and sometimes finds additional ones. Visit “zwingefoundation.org” or your local testing center for more information, and expect your invitation for testing to arrive before you expect it. A paradox? Of course it is!
Want more hints as to the history of St. Remedius Medical College? Check out Backstories and Fragments. Want to get caught up on the St. Remedius story so far? Check out the main archive. Want to forget all of that and look at cat pictures from a beast who dreams of his own OnlyFans for his birthday? Check out Mandatory Parker. And feel free to pass on word far and wide: the more, the merrier.